Features

Published on November 15th, 2012 | by Stephen O'Nion

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Day In The Life #4: Barney Calhoun

Once again we’ve been privileged enough to receive a highly regarded guest’s thoughts and views on the world around them over the course of twenty four hours. This week, former Black Mesa security guard, Barney Calhoun has agreed to step in after Gordon Freeman’s submission was mysteriously received with a word count of zero. No biggy though, we’re super happy to feature Mr Calhoun, now a highly regarded freedom figure in his own right, he’s just as good. Really.

“Ooh where’s Freeman?” “Follow Freeman!” “How the hell can we all huddle around Freeman and get in his way?”

It’s been a long time since anyone got in my way…

It’s not that I’m jealous: the Doc’s a good guy, hell he’s a buddy, but when the rebel uprising is taking a breather then a man’s mind is going to wander. Take last week: I’m sitting in unnamed rebel base #0927 just kinda twiddling my thumbs and polishing my crowbar – worth pointing out that since the Suppression Field is down and we’ve got our sex drives back, “polishing my crowbar” is not a euphemism. Anyway, I’m polishing, and it’s yet another day where nothing is going on; it’s been a while since anything’s happened around here.

Really it seems like we’re just waiting for another episode… of our life.

A pic I took of the only two guys around here with their own faces. Haven’t seen either of them for a while actually…

A self-appointed field commander’s gotta keep himself occupied ‘cos I know what a lot of the people around here are thinking; my body’s changed a little bit since Black Mesa. Yeah, maybe I’ve gained a little weight, and grown a bit of a hobo bear, and had my facial features changed completely…

Anyhow, since no one wants to go for a beer, I wandered over to the beach. Well, I say no one wants to go for a beer, I swear I asked everyone in the base but – and I’m not one of them racists – everyone looks and sounds exactly the same around here. It might turn out that I just asked the same guy twenty-odd times, there’d be no way to know.

Right, the beach, it’s called the Lost Coast. Weird place. Really bright and loads of shadows. Not exactly the most popular of tourist destinations it must be said, I could only find one other guy there and he wasn’t much of a talker, but it’s a nice change of scenery. To be honest, places to visit are few and far between nowadays. I tried to organise a little outing to Ravenholm just the other day only to be told “we don’t go there anymore.” I can’t be bothered to remind them the only reason we don’t go there is because the locals they implemented a smoking bang – something about exposed gas lines and frequent explosions.

Oh, and the residents get a little Bible-happy from time to time; a little bit “cult-y” for some people’s tastes…

Maybe it’s just me, you know? Maybe I should get with the program and spend my days spraying the same symbol on wall after wall, or randomly placing health packs around the surrounding area (and they wonder why we’ve never got any supplies left). They can praise Freeman all they want, but this is something the Doc doesn’t have the deal with. I do all the work, he gets all the praise, but will you ever see a game based around me? No.

Well not again at least.