Features

Published on November 12th, 2012 | by Stephen O'Nion

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The 10 Greatest Video Games to Appear in The Simpsons

There are a lot of games based around The Simpsons and some of them aren’t bad either. If you thought Grand Theft Auto was a little too bloody, there’s Simpsons Hit & Run. If Crazy Taxi was a little too yellow then there’s Simpsons Road Rage. Yet this ignores the games in the episodes of The Simpsons themselves. So, here are ten of the best – cunningly titled ‘The Greatest’ to draw traffic and indignation from fans of Disembowler IV, Great White Hunter and Escape From Grandma’s House - and their modern equivalents.

10. Touch Of Death

The Episode: When Flanders Failed

The Gameplay: Two elite fighters, both trained in the elusive ‘touch of death’ a feted finger finisher than results in an instakill. Before you can use it though, you’ll have to kick, block and awkwardly move your way to victory, knowing the touch of death is just a button mash away.

The Equivalent: Mortal Kombat – duh, just check out that crazy kill-animation. A real “life” ghost?! FATALITY!

9. My Dinner With Andre

The Episode: Boy-Scoutz In Da Hood

The Gameplay: The 1981  “Smash” “Hit” “Film” finally gets the video game adaptation no one asked for, complete with fully interactive controls. You may offer a Bon Mot. You may give a Trenchant Insight. Or, should you wish to let the conversation take you, there’s always “Tell me more.”

The Equivalent: Mass Effect – dialogue at its finest: Bioware’s conversation wheel is nothing but a near-carbon copy of My Dinner With Andre. You hear “Shepard! The Reapers are coming” you answer “Trenchant Insight…”

8. Bowling 2000

The Episode: A Streetcar Named Marge

The Gameplay: Get the ball to the pins and knock them over. Courtesy of Bowling 2000‘s amazing mechanics, now you can control the ball as it travels down the alley, just watch out for those seven-ten splits.

The Equivalent: Wii Sports – it includes bowling, that’s halfway there. It’s incredibly easy, that’s the rest of the way there. It’s also a Nintendo treat, though that’s not to say Bowling 2000‘s device is a knockoff Gameboy. No sirree.

7. Kevin Costner’s Waterworld

The Episode: The Springfield Files

The Gameplay: Another film to video game adaptation, playable with just forty quarters (that’s ten dollars to us non-mathematicians). Boldly step into the new world – of water – in the guise of a very pointy Kevin Costner. Then pay and do it again.

The Equivalent: Skyrim (unpatched) - it’s a huge world, ready for you to make your mark, bend the kingdom to your needs. Take one step and away you g-oh, it’s crashed.

6. Super Slugfest

The Episode: Moaning Lisa

The Gameplay: Touch gloves at the bell – protect yourself at all times – knock the head off your opponent. This game gets its entire Simpsons’ subplot, of course it’s on the list.

The Equivalent: Fight Night Champion – set your nickname, customise your boxer (even give him a Lavender trim if you’re so inclined) and get to beating your enemies into a bloody pulp. Unlike in Super Slugfest, FNC doesn’t let you decapitate them, but still…

5. Bonestorm

The Episode: Marge Be Not Proud

The Gameplay: “Buy me Bonestorm or go to Hell!” - it’s an advertising campaign that works; this game is so radical it blows you away even when you try to enter your (maximum eight character) name. THRILLHO will have to do.

The Equivalent: Madworld – kill, kill and kill again – yes it’s an obvious Mortal Kombat clone, but that’s already included and hell If I’m going to scroll up the page and replace it with Tekken. Madworld is as close as it gets for absolute carnage, and that’s not even close enough. Plus, both of them get old pretty quick, so there’s that added similarity.

4. Panamanian Strongman

The Episode: Boy-Scoutz In Da Hood

The Gameplay: Fight off the planes! Stay away from the former President! Little is known about Panamanian Strongman, but lose and you too will be uttering “No Es Bueno!”

The Equivalent: Mario & Sonic At The Olympic Games – with an overriding message that “winners don’t use drugs”, courtesy of George H. W. Bush, it’s pretty clear that the Olympics is an inspiration. Plus, both games include weights and a casual level of racism; that’s handy.

3. Larry The Looter

The Episode: Radio Bart

The Gameplay: GTA on a budget strips looting to its essentials: run, break, loot, run, get shot. See kids? Crime doesn’t pay, but it does cost (a quarter).

The Equivalent: Simpsons Hit & Run – own a copy of Hit & Run from 2003? Load it up and you can play it yourself. Alternatively play GTA for no more than ten seconds.

2. Escape From Death Row

The Episode: New Kid On The Block

The Gameplay: Fleeing the confines of Death Row, you run, you jump, you gain arbitrary numbers according to what you’ve dodged. But watch out! There’s a Conservative Judge up ahead, forcing you to plead insanity or show remorse. Choose wisely and you might just make it. Choose poorly, and it’s the chair for you.

The Equivalent: The Chronicles Of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay – ‘cos, like, you escape from a prison don’t you? Plus the main character from EFDR even looks like a bristly Vin Diesel.

1. Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge

The Episode: Marge Be Not Proud

The Gameplay: “Welcome to Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge. I am Carvallo. Now, choose a club.” Oddly, for a putting game, there’s a whole lot of swinging if you want there to be. Still, choose correctly (might I suggest a putter) and you’ll have the time of your life.

The Equivalent: There is no other and there never will be.